The Art of Letting Things Breathe

There is a subtle art, observable throughout the natural world, of letting things breathe.  Letting something breathe means that it is given the space it needs to naturally unfold.  It is not forced.  It implies patience, confidence, and trust.  Allowing something to breathe yields a healthier, stronger, more vibrant version of that thing.

Some things that want to breathe:

Conversations – A conversation differs from an argument.   Conversation implies that there is an equal interest in learning what the other side has to say.  As a leader, even if you know the answer and there is no question in your mind about its truth, you may still want to learn of other’s opinions or get unanimous approval on a solution.  In this case, your best approach will be to open up the conversation to find the best answer (rather than dominating it with your thoughts and negations).  You do this by asking questions.  It’s like aerating soil – the more you ask questions, the more you unearth, the more you let the conversation breathe, and the healthier the end result.

Moments – If you are standing at the edge of the ocean, watching the sunset on a fantastic first date, it might not make sense to keep talking over the moment simply because you are nervous.  The right action might be silence, appreciating the sunset and letting the moment breathe.

Music – My favorite moments in live music are the ones where the players open up into an improvisation while playing minimally.  The sound becomes more sparse and the music becomes a landscape that invites the listener in.  In these moments the players sink into a deep listening and interactive experience with one another.  Musicians say that during these moments they are letting the music breathe.

Fire and the tending of it – Fires need to breathe in order to grow.  When logs are piled on top of each other tightly, the air can not get in and the fire will be squelched.  Give the logs some space, pile them in just the right way that the air can flow through and around the logs and the fire opens up.  In this way, the fire and the act of building and tending it are one and the same and require room to breathe.

Wine and the consumption of it – A fine bottle of red wine is best enjoyed after letting it open up – after letting it breathe.  You could rush into the moment and drink the bottle quickly.  It’s better though to let the meal, the wine, and the consumption of both breathe and open up to the moment.

Relationships – You are really excited, you just met the man/woman of your dreams.  Excitement pushes you – you want to spend every waking moment with this person, or perhaps you want to push your agenda on this person right from the first moment.  But by letting the relationship open up at its own pace, you keep it from getting smothered.  The relationship grows as it has space to breathe.

The moral of the story is that things want to breathe.  As a leader in The Business of You, next time you feel yourself forcing something think instead about how you can pull back and allow the moment to breathe.  By doing so you will grow stronger, healthier results.