I’ve noticed a chain of events in my own life that I have worked hard at interupting. I see it happen in many other people as well. In fact, in the coaching work I do, this pattern comes up a lot and my job is to help you see through it. The chain goes like this:
- There is an unspoken desire or thought in your mind. Sometimes it’s deep in the mind, sometimes there is awareness of the thought but you don’t act on it. In other words, the thought is left inside your mind, like leaving it inside a pressure cooker. In this state you are pent-up.
- If you leave the thought in the pressure cooker too long without acting on it, it begins to affect your emotions. Again, this usually happens beneath the surface and you’re probably not even aware of it… but you see it on the surface when you’re pissed off or in a bad mood for no apparent reason. If you were to ask “why?” you would eventually trace it back to the fact that you aren’t acting on some thought deep inside the cooker.
- You can’t be pissed off forever though, so as the bad mood and outward anger starts to wear off, you move into a state of self-pity. The implication is that you wouldn’t have been able to act on your secret thought even if you wanted to. You have limiting beliefs that keep you from acting on the thought. ”But that’s the way it is” you think. You feel bad for yourself – you move into self-pity.
I have no doubt this pattern replays itself millions of times each day around the world. The easiest way to start moving out of this pattern is to first identify the thoughts before they get to the pressure cooker stage. Start to carry a notebook or note cards in your pocket. Anytime you realize a thought or question that is occupying space in your mind, write it down. By getting it out on paper you will start to see the thoughts that you need to act on. The act of giving a visual representation (writing) to your thoughts is a great way to see them for what they are. It gives you the chance to act on them – laugh at them, put it on the “to do” list, or move past it. This method is the equivalent of the release valve on the pressure cooker which keeps you from getting pent-up in the first place.
Ben,
writing down our thoughts is really important. As always I relate your topics to philosophy and/or psychology. In this case the topic is structuralism (20th century French movement lead by Levi Strauss, Lacan, Foucault, Sartre, Barthes, Derrida, and other great masters). Structuralism comes from “give structure” to our unconsciousness (discovered by Freud) and also to our consciousness into language and symbols to express them, to liberate them, and therefore, to gain clarity and self-awareness. Lacan said that the unconsciousness only exists when there is a language that express it. So let spend more paper “talking” to ourselves. It’s a great one on one conversation….
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right on Maxi. Thanks for the thoughts.
Please keep these blog posts coming.
Sound advice. It reminds me of doing a simple inventory. Once I know what is in stock (writing the thoughts on paper) I can decide what to discard and what to keep. I also gain a better idea of what is needed(more paper-clips, pencils, positive action, focus, etc.).
By nature, I’m a thinker more than a doer. I think writing the thoughst down could reveal the opportunities for taking more action. I’ll give it a try. Thanks, Ben. Keep ‘em coming.
There are times when your blog posts cause my mind to shift, as long as I keep my mind open. ;o)